Jigsaw Puzzle
January 29, 2008 at 11:33 pm | In Life | Leave a CommentTags: thoughts
Okay, I saw this from a certain ‘Iceberg’ who left a comment on dasmondkoh.com and I thought this should be a great start to this discussion topic: “When some1 gives you a jig jaw puzzle, it’s because… they want you to know life is not as simple as black and white. There is no one way or only a single angle to look at things. It is only when you have put together all the little pieces of different perception that you will start to see the full picture.“
Well said~! ^_^g Actually life really is a jigsaw puzzle, or in fact, the people and things are each little pieces of jigsaw in your life. Everyone has a different puzzle to fix, and this is the most time-consuming puzzle you have to fix in your life-time. We have yet to know how the final picture would turn out to be. Well, it really depends on how we fiddle around with each piece of jigsaw too. Sometimes, we pick up a piece and thought it should be able to fit in next to another piece, but they looked awkward together; sometimes we thought these 2 pieces should be fitting, but no matter how we try, they can’t fit in to each other — the forceful attempt to piece them together only cause the 2 pieces of jigsaw to hurt as their edges hit against one another. (But I do think that not all pieces do come together as easily as lock-and-key does, so if we don’t even try, we won’t know whether they can or cannot work being placed together yea?)
All of us look forward to forming a puzzle of the picture we have in our heart of hearts, but will the eventual picture be the same way as we want it to be? Or is there a greater plan by divine force? Sometimes we thought the picture of our puzzle has changed over the years, but the truth might be that it’s our own perception and perspectives that have changed over the years. How we see things now is different from how we did in the past. So it’s us who had changed and not the main picture. Well, we do change our position when we are fixing puzzle do we not? This is exactly because sometimes staying in the same position might get us nowhere. We are stuck because we are stubborn; but if we are willing to change our position and look from another angle, we might again advance forward and gain new achievements. =)
Parenting
January 26, 2008 at 11:54 pm | In Adolescent | Leave a CommentTags: family, youths
You know, sometimes it’s so hard to really understand how things work when you are really young and you simply feel that the adults are out there to make life difficult for you. Just like how come at times, you feel that there is a ‘generation gap’ between you and your parents when they can’t understand you.
“Why can’t I place my computer in my own room?”; “Why do I have to come home early when my friends can stay out the whole night and their parents won’t scold them about it?”; “How come everything I do is wrong?”; “Why must I listen to everything you say?”; “…”
There are too many ‘whys’ in a child/youth’s mind. And it’s not always that we can fully provide them with an answer to. And sometimes, we feel that it’s simply taking too much of our time and energy to explain everything we do/want them to do. As a child/youth, I do feel that we sometimes have to trust our elders/parents about some of their instructions. They have been through life, they have seen more of the world than you and I do. Though times have changed, some basic rules of life don’t. Or maybe at times, it’s because there really isn’t enough time to fully explain everything before we can be satisfied enough to heed their advice/instruction.
I’m more comfortable [and personally prefers] with the idea that between parents/elders and child/youth, communication and understanding is highly important. However, I do understand that sometimes, with the lack of time, we might be unable to do that. I feel that though you may be more senior in age, it doesn’t mean that you have the rights to instruct; the younger ones should be given a space to voice their opinions too. BUT, having said that, I must admit that at times, because the senior ones can see a full/whole picture of what is needed and would be more appropriate, they can’t always accept totally all new ideas. These ideas might not be ideal to be implemented now, but it doesn’t mean in the future, they won’t be appropriate. Hence, we shouldn’t give up just because our proposals were ‘rejected’ a few times.
Remember, even peace may at times needed to be won after bloodshed, so how can we give up on providing new feasible ideas just because of a few rejections? [Okay, I myself ain't in the favour of violence and war, it's just an analogy.] If we don’t even try, we are in no position to complain that people are not giving us chances, and that they will never take our opinions into consideration.
千の風になって
January 25, 2008 at 12:54 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a CommentTags: thoughts
千风之歌
请不要佇立在我的墓前哭泣
因为我並不在那里
我並沒有沉睡不醒
而是化为千风
我已化身为千缕微風
翱翔在无限宽广的天空里
秋天 我化身为阳光
照射在田野間
冬天 我化身为白雪
綻放钻石般的閃耀光芒
晨曦升起之际
我幻化为飞鸟
轻声地唤醒你
夜幕低垂之時
我幻化成星辰
溫柔地守护你
請不要佇立在我的墓前哭泣
因为我並不在那里
我並沒有沉睡不醒
而是化为千风
我已化身为千缕微风
翱翔在无限宽广的天空里
诗的来源有两个不同的说法一对印地安夫妻,先生在妻子死了后，想要自杀时,在整理抽屉，发现妻子写了这首诗,读了之后就决定继续活下去.
1932年,在美国马利兰州巴尔的摩市，一位名为 Mary Elizabeth Frye (1905-2004) 的主妇，为同居友人 Margaret Schwarzkopf 过世的母亲而写的作品.
在1995年，英国一名青年在爱尔兰共和军袭击下牺牲. 临死前把一封信交给父母，请他们在他离世后打开，信内就是这一首诗，经过传媒的报导后，得到广泛的回响。
2001年，美国 911恐怖袭击事件后，在一个追悼仪式中，1名11岁的少女在会中读出此诗，以表达她对在911事件中丧生的父亲的追思. 2006年日本红白大赛，木村拓哉朗诵了这首诗，接着丘川雅史深情演唱
千の風になって
私のお墓の前で 泣かないでください
そこに私はいません 眠ってなんかいません
千の風に千の風になって
あの大きな空を吹き渡っています
秋には光になって
畑にふりそそぐ
冬はダイヤのように きらめく雪になる
朝は鳥になって あなたを
目覚めさせる
夜は星になって あなたを見守る私のお墓の前で
泣かないでください
そこに私はいません 死んでなんかいません
Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep
I am a thousand winds that blow
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sun on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight
I am the soft starlight at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die
source: dasmondkoh.com~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After reading the poetry, i was very touched… To mi, it was very true. after we died, we will not be where our physical body remains. The physical body is like a shell to see us through our life journey so that we will be able to accomplish more, which otherwise with our weightless soul, will be unable to achieve. What’s more, if it was me, I would rather the people I love, who live on after my departure, live on happily.
So my dears, please do not weep. For I am not here. I will be the summer wind which embraces you in the heat; the breeze to take away your troubles and sadness. *hugs*
Adoption
January 22, 2008 at 11:53 pm | In Adolescent | Leave a CommentTags: child
Well, I’ve came across a few instances of friends who were adopted. And I’d always wanted to adopt/sponsor a child myself too. However, sponsorship always has this “predictative trap” and uncertainty as to where your sponsored money are going to. Is the child in the photo presented to you really the beneficiary? Sometimes, I really doubt how much ‘love, care and concern’ we might be giving to that child if we think by providing financial support is enough.
Doesn’t that scenario sound familiar? Just like in present days, some of our families consist of working parents. Hence, without time to spend with the children, they shower their children with more allowance and a big house [which is cold, empty and lonely, okay, unless you are taking the maid into account too]. Is that love already? Of course, the poor working parents are trying to make up for their “inability” to spend more time with the kids, BUT is this the best way? I seriously do not think so.
Then onto adoption. Who should be “eligible” to ‘apply’ to adopt a child? First of all, you must be clear on WHY you are adopting. You should be adopting because you love children and wish to empower this child; NOT to fill in your emptiness. Otherwise, what if you decide to find a life-partner someday? Will you then decide to send the poor child away? To me, that’s so irresponsible. Also, I believe the family (or you) should be able to make the child feel a sense of security. Every one needs at least a little sense of security. We need to feel that there’s someone for us to lean on if we need to. Especially since the adopted child has been abandoned once, he/she shouldn’t be made to face the same situation again. Also, in the initial stage, the child might be unable to open him/herself up to the adoptive family or to fit into this new lifestyle, there must be adequate support and love to help him/her adapt.
In a way, I suppose it’s good to adopt a child when (s)he is really young, but that will probably lead to another question [or potential problem] — when should we let the child know that (s)he is not our biological child? (Or the question might be: should we even let the child know the truth?) It was suggested that the most ideal period to let the child know that (s)he is adopted is between 3-6 years of age. Frankly, I’m not too sure how ideal this age range is to make that announcement. I mean, hey, the child is still so young, can (s)he understand what this mean? Will this have an adverse impact on him/her? How should we start? Fine, granted that if (s)he knows it [or worse still, finds out on his/her own] during his/her teenage years will probably have an even greater impact on him/her [with damage unimaginable], but how should we even start to tell the truth?
Teenage Pregnancies
January 19, 2008 at 2:08 pm | In Adolescent | Leave a CommentTags: youths
“Every child is desperate for love, without any exception.”
Maybe we should change that qoute a little to “Every one is desperate for love, without any exception”.. It’s very true. The very first person to have skin-ship with us is our parents, hence how parents shower their child with affection right from the start is very important. Why is it that teenagers might fall into this problem of teenage pregnancy? This may be explored from one aspect which is that they are looking for love in the wrong places. It was precisely because they yearned for love so much that once they are given the slightest attention or affection, they are willing to give anything in order to receive it.
Maybe they are not as good-looking as their siblings or peers, hence they are often being compared to others. Once inferority sets in, they start to seek for alternatives to attract attention. There is an increased number of working parents and usually, it’s less of a communication style when they are interacting with their children; more often than not, they are merely giving instructions. Many of us who are elder siblings, or a parent now, will fall into this trap. We thought we are doing this for their own good, but we have often overlooked the fact that they might be sending signals to us — to seek help and understanding. Yet, we failed to listen.
When problem arises, we tend to blame. We tend to be overly concerned with what others will say, how others will feel and react. Have we forgotten that it’s actually none of their business? The problem now lies in front of us, but because we are facing the pressure from others, we tend to make choices which we will regret later. It’s just the same as teenage pregnancy. Okay, now this young teenger is pregnant, the parents go berserk and scold the child; faced with looks from relatives and friends, what is the choice to make? Pro-life or pro-choice? To keep or to abort?
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