我不懂
September 14, 2009 at 10:04 pm | In Adolescent, Life, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment真的不懂。
为什么有些人一辈子活着，却像是白活了一样？
为什么有些人活着，像是全世界欠了他/她似的？
为什么有些人永远也不会体会到别人的真心和关心？
为什么有些人把别人对他/她的好当成是理所当然的？
为什么我们需要一直一直地附和着这些蛮不讲理的人，然后继续让他/她们觉得这是应该的？为什么他/她一定要活得那么自私、那么的颓废却始终觉得这一切的一切，都是别人造成的？为什么只有他/她要的，就一定得得到，否则就是你从来没有关心过他/她？为什么只会觉得别人都在针对着他/她？
我真的不懂。
真的很想重重地给你两巴掌，然后把你好好地骂一顿，期望你有可能老老实实地跪在那里，好好地反省。当然，这更可能是我的一厢情愿、愚笨的期盼。可是，如果你又再次让我有那若干年前想要把你杀死的念头，我想你是真的考倒我的最后耐性了。
真的很希望你走到人生的某一个阶段时，你会后悔这一切的一切。但是，我却更希望你在这之前就懂得后悔。真希望有一天你会后悔。彻彻底底地后悔。
但是，在你这一辈子，会懂得“后悔”两个字怎么写吗？
Moments of truth
May 24, 2008 at 12:23 am | In Adolescent, Life | 4 CommentsTags: Adolescent, examinations, parents, results, tutor
It’s this time of the year again. I do not know if it’s the same for others, but to me at least, in the past I would quite fear this time of the year. Why? Well, by this period, the mid-year examinations for school-goers would have ended and the results would have been released.
And hence, the fear “factor” has arrived. As I am pretty close to one of my tutees, I saw how her mum got frustrated [angry and scarily scolding her kids] with both her children’s results. It totally brought back those scary “moments of truth” in the past. :p Today, I could feel the same kind of chills and fear that run through me when I was still a school-goer back then. Usually it doesn’t really matter how much/little effort we put into the preparation for examination, because the fact remains that your parents only remembered the times when you kept requesting to watch the TV or played games instead of studying. So when your results came back and the worst part [i.e. the report book] was to be released, you know that your happy days are all gone.
For the next one to two weeks from the day you took back your report book, the whole house is dead quiet; you do not [dare to] ask whether you may watch the TV or computer; you just try to make your presence as un-noticeable as possible [for fear that any tiny action made will trigger a few hours' worth of lecture and 'nagging' on why you didn't study, that's why you get such kinds of results now]. If you are lucky, you will probably get a few more assessment books or hire a tutor.
However, you will probably return to your old self in one month’s time; a leopard cannot change its spots. My point is: during this period when results are given back, why should all the children be fearing when they [might] have been giving their best already. All these talks about achieving and attaining better and better grades have created a new generation of result-oriented children instead of truly knowledge-hungry children. What will happen if this ‘culture’ carry on?
Your guess is as good as mine.
《在乎》
May 9, 2008 at 1:52 pm | In Adolescent, Life | 4 CommentsTags: care, intention, truth
“这无论是潜意识的改变与否，
但它确确实实是我们所要看到的结果，
不是吗？”
譬如笔者的妹妹有一回就很气恼地倾诉说她的朋友总是以一副不以为然地态度来回应大家对他的关心。友人的一句：“你们讲的大道理我都听得懂，只是看我要不要听进去而已”就足以让妹妹气愤地投诉：“怎么会有这样的人，竟然说出这样的话！把朋友们的关心当成什么了！”
可是，对笔者而言，该友人并非真的不在乎。往往，人都爱压抑着自己的情绪，别人说的，我们实际上是有听进去的，但是就爱嘴硬，嚷着“不在乎，不管”，但是如果我们是真的不在乎，我们其实就已没有听进去了呀。更何况，我们是否有留意到其实那个我们说的人逐渐地在改变呢？嘴上嚷着“无所谓，不在乎”的人，其实很在意地把你说的话放在心上。这无论是潜意识的改变与否，但它确确实实是我们所要看到的结果，不是吗？
笔者相信，如果一个人对你而言是不重要的话，你就不会浪费力气去生他的气了吧。你既然会生他的气就表示他在你的心目中是占有一定的地位的。你会气愤他的毫不在乎，他的无所谓，是因为你在乎这个朋友，所以你也不必再骗自己说“不管他了啦，他爱怎样就随他去吧。我才懒得管他咧。”倘若你是真的不在乎，那么他人的反应根本不足以让你苦恼，生气。
同样的道理，身为儿女的我们时常会觉得父母很多时候都很不讲道理，成日只会骂我们，所以就以更叛逆的态度去面对，有些更以“我才管他去死”的态度来作回应。我们何尝不去想想，父母有时口头上是说不管我们了，但是事实上他们的心里的痛楚我们根本无法感受到。如果他们真的不在乎我们，那又何必来骂我们，打我们，搞到自己的身体吃不消？为何他们还要那么辛苦地工作来养育我们呢？我们是否有丝毫感恩的心呢？要面对我们的无理取闹，我们的要求，他们可是背负着何等的重担。
对于老师们，我们又以怎样的态度呢？老师也都不在乎我们吗？他们的工作是否只是在学业上而已？我们可有体谅他们的苦心，那份想把我们教育得更好的用心？难道我们真的视而不见，一点儿也不在乎吗？
所以，请不要再说你不在乎。因为事实上，其实你比谁都还要来得在乎所发生的一切。
譬如笔者的妹妹有一回就很气恼地倾诉说她的朋友总是以一副不以为然地态度来回应大家对他的关心。友人的一句：“你们讲的大道理我都听得懂，只是看我要不要听进去而已”就足以让妹妹气愤地投诉：“怎么会有这样的人，竟然说出这样的话！把朋友们的关心当成什么了！”
可是，对笔者而言，该友人并非真的不在乎。往往，人都爱压抑着自己的情绪，别人说的，我们实际上是有听进去的，但是就爱嘴硬，嚷着“不在乎，不管”，但是如果我们是真的不在乎，我们其实就已没有听进去了呀。更何况，我们是否有留意到其实那个我们说的人逐渐地在改变呢？嘴上嚷着“无所谓，不在乎”的人，其实很在意地把你说的话放在心上。这无论是潜意识的改变与否，但它确确实实是我们所要看到的结果，不是吗？
笔者相信，如果一个人对你而言是不重要的话，你就不会浪费力气去生他的气了吧。你既然会生他的气就表示他在你的心目中是占有一定的地位的。你会气愤他的毫不在乎，他的无所谓，是因为你在乎这个朋友，所以你也不必再骗自己说“不管他了啦，他爱怎样就随他去吧。我才懒得管他咧。”倘若你是真的不在乎，那么他人的反应根本不足以让你苦恼，生气。
同样的道理，身为儿女的我们时常会觉得父母很多时候都很不讲道理，成日只会骂我们，所以就以更叛逆的态度去面对，有些更以“我才管他去死”的态度来作回应。我们何尝不去想想，父母有时口头上是说不管我们了，但是事实上他们的心里的痛楚我们根本无法感受到。如果他们真的不在乎我们，那又何必来骂我们，打我们，搞到自己的身体吃不消？为何他们还要那么辛苦地工作来养育我们呢？我们是否有丝毫感恩的心呢？要面对我们的无理取闹，我们的要求，他们可是背负着何等的重担。
对于老师们，我们又以怎样的态度呢？老师也都不在乎我们吗？他们的工作是否只是在学业上而已？我们可有体谅他们的苦心，那份想把我们教育得更好的用心？难道我们真的视而不见，一点儿也不在乎吗？
所以，请不要再说你不在乎。因为事实上，其实你比谁都还要来得在乎所发生的一切。
Viral
March 22, 2008 at 1:18 am | In Adolescent, Technology | Leave a CommentTags: google, internet, Technology, youths
“It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.” – Albert Einstein
Well, the issue about the sponsored ad on google is more or less part of the past now. The ads are changed and there have been quite a number of ‘discussion’ on the blogosphere for the past few days. Oh well, for the better or the worse, the parties involved did not step out to take the issue by the horn.
This can mean two things: 1) yes, slowly, people will stop talking about it and it will become ‘just another in(ac)cident of the past; 2) many years down the road, when someone do a search online, all these will still surface because even though the wind has died down, the damage is already done, and it’s permanently there on the web.
This whole issue has shown that ‘word of mouth’ is faster than ever in this new era with the advanced technology. Just like the Edison Chen’s case which made headlines for at least 1.5 months. It was precisely because of the internet that the culprit could upload the pictures and ’share’ them with everyone anywhere in the world. This is where people comment, support, comfort or slam the characters involved; this is also where journalists could send back reports faster than ever before. If rumours have legs, those legs must have made good friends with technology to work hand-in-hand.
“Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.” – John Tudor
It’s very real. It’s viral. Previously, during one of the forums that I attended, one of the speakers was speaking on the topic about how children can access restricted content because they were able to gain access to the internet where information is widely shared. If it was in the past, to learn about another country, you will probably have to borrow a book from the library; right now, you may just type the country name into any search engine, and ta-la~ you will know right away its population, religions, places to visit, find accomodation etc –> all with a click!
This is so amazing!
Lies
March 7, 2008 at 11:51 pm | In Adolescent, Life | Leave a CommentTags: lies
I’ve just googled the word ‘lies’ and in 0.17 seconds, 121, 000, 000 results were found. Wow! But of course, I’m sure it consists of results found for the plural verb form as well as the plural noun form. I was on my way home with a fellow colleague just now and she was sharing with me what one of her counselling clients told her. She was told to write down what she thinks of herself, in terms of positive and negative traits and actions, and for one of her negative traits was “I like to lie”, so my colleague was, in an attempt to change her negative perception of herself to a better one, asking her why that was bad.
Her reply shows that she know why she should not lie, and her next statement really got us tickled: “But I still want to lie leh“. hahaa~ that’s kids for you, innocent, and wanting to do what they want even when they know it might not be good. Recently, I’ve been watching this 2005-06 Korean drama series titled “My Girl“. The story started off with this girl named Ju Yoo-rin who has led a life of a swindler’s daughter and she would often lie to get her way out of situation. As time goes by and she fell in love with Seol Gong-chan, who ‘employed’ her to pretend to be his long lost cousin for his dying grandfather’s sake, she found it even harder to continue lying. At the end of everything, she even had to make a huge lie so that everyone would be happier. [well, of course it was a happy ending when everyone did not fall for her last attempt to lie, and so she did not have to lie to herself and leave =)]
Although in the eyes of many, probably one wont believe that a swindler/liar would have conscience, but I would really beg to differ. Actually, what we always see on the surface may not be the real reason and cause of matters. There may be other factors and reasons behind the doings without our knowledge. Just like why is it that sometimes we speak about “telling white lies”. A lie is a lie, and we termed it “white lie” to make ourselves feel better. The more important thing is, when we tell a lie, what was our starting off point for doing so? Is it a necessary action to be taken? Is it at the last resort?
There was this Russian quote that goes: ”With lies you may go ahead in the world, but you can never go back.” – how true.
When the kid said she still “wants to lie”, what she really mean was that she finds this to be the way out; to escape from whatever the reality is around her; to protect herself from ‘potential’ harm. To a child, what could be a better solution when (s)he cant think of any?
And when we can’t think of a better solution, don’t we sometimes lie to ourselves, thinking that as long as this lie will make others happy, our own suffering is worth it?
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