괜찮아요

Well, I’ve came across a few instances of friends who were adopted. And I’d always wanted to adopt/sponsor a child myself too. However, sponsorship always has this “predictative trap” and uncertainty as to where your sponsored money are going to. Is the child in the photo presented to you really the beneficiary? Sometimes, I really doubt how much ‘love, care and concern’ we might be giving to that child if we think by providing financial support is enough.

Doesn’t that scenario sound familiar? Just like in present days, some of our families consist of working parents. Hence, without time to spend with the children, they shower their children with more allowance and a big house [which is cold, empty and lonely, okay, unless you are taking the maid into account too]. Is that love already? Of course, the poor working parents are trying to make up for their “inability” to spend more time with the kids, BUT is this the best way? I seriously do not think so.

Then onto adoption. Who should be “eligible” to ‘apply’ to adopt a child? First of all, you must be clear on WHY you are adopting. You should be adopting because you love children and wish to empower this child; NOT to fill in your emptiness. Otherwise, what if you decide to find a life-partner someday? Will you then decide to send the poor child away? To me, that’s so irresponsible. Also, I believe the family (or you) should be able to make the child feel a sense of security. Every one needs at least a little sense of security. We need to feel that there’s someone for us to lean on if we need to. Especially since the adopted child has been abandoned once, he/she shouldn’t be made to face the same situation again. Also, in the initial stage, the child might be unable to open him/herself up to the adoptive family or to fit into this new lifestyle, there must be adequate support and love to help him/her adapt.

In a way, I suppose it’s good to adopt a child when (s)he is really young, but that will probably lead to another question [or potential problem] — when should we let the child know that (s)he is not our biological child? (Or the question might be: should we even let the child know the truth?) It was suggested that the most ideal period to let the child know that (s)he is adopted is between 3-6 years of age. Frankly, I’m not too sure how ideal this age range is to make that announcement. I mean, hey, the child is still so young, can (s)he understand what this mean? Will this have an adverse impact on him/her? How should we start? Fine, granted that if (s)he knows it [or worse still, finds out on his/her own] during his/her teenage years will probably have an even greater impact on him/her [with damage unimaginable], but how should we even start to tell the truth?