괜찮아요

When I first know of this song, I didn’t quite like it because it was rather loud. =D However, after I came back to Singapore, I happened to listen to the song again and came to like it more and more. Especially the lyrics set me thinking.

Sometimes, we do feel that there are two sides of us [just like the workings of an angel and a devil within us] which will influence what decision we make. Like in the lyrics, when we are pondering over a matter, one side of us will discourage us and keep reminding ourselves where we had not done correctly and why we should just give up while the other side of us will want to fight the negative side and help us regain self-confidence to fight on. How many times did we feel tired to fight within ourselves? How strong is our determination?

Actually, I have thought of myself having two different types of personalities, especially with the linkage of my name. I had seldom, if not never, used the name of ‘Keris’ until I entered University. I could sense the difference in me when I used different names; one was the more playful and more daring personality while the other was the more sensible and more conservative in her decision-making. Of course, when I am in one situation which would have been better if I’d used the other side of me, I might make decisions which I will come to regret in the future. And to be very frank, at times, I do hate the other side of myself.

Funny isn’t it? It’s the same you yet having a dilemma within yourself? It’s not quite about split personality but more about coming to terms with identifying with yourself. Just like how some youths are obsessed with another identity online, so much so that they slowly forget that they are living in the real world and not just on the virtual world. This is why they are so willing to take up another identity online so that they can mould it the way they wished they can behave in real life. Many times, both sides of us are speaking at the same time, trying to convince us.

Which side of you is winning?